Is your Baby a good Baby?!

As a new mummy – I’ve discovered a question that EVERYBODY likes to ask and it makes me SOOOO mad!

Is she a ‘good’ baby?

What a strange question! How can a newborn baby be a ‘bad’ baby??? To be honest the first few times that I was asked this I wasn’t quite sure what the person was getting at and just assumed that they were a bit odd so I gave them my stock response of:

Erm yes she’s great I think

Obviously as a first time mummy I have nothing to compare her to but she seems great to me!! Anyway, it soon became clear to me that “Is she a ‘good’ baby” actually translates into “Does she sleep through the night”? I am actually shocked at how many people ask me this!

As mummy to spirited Baby B who at 9 months still doesn’t always “sleep through the night” (although she did last night hurray!!), being asked this question at 8 weeks and 12 weeks did not endear me to the asker!

I found it insulting that my Baby was considered to be a ‘bad’ baby just because she woke up during the night to feed (which FYI is totally normal for newborns!). I found myself spouting off the following to anyone who even hinted that they were about to ask “the question”….!

I’m so lucky, she is a very good baby but because I’m breastfeeding she wakes for a night  feed but she goes straight back to sleep because she really is a very good baby, the very best of babies, a very good baby indeed. I’m sure she would sleep through the night every night if I wasn’t breastfeeding because she really is a very very good baby, a very good baby indeed…..*continued frantically for the next 5 minutes*

I’m sure that the people who were on the receiving end of my frantic assertion that my baby was a ‘good’ baby ended up thinking that I was the odd one!

Anyway, eventually I decided that secretly people want to hear that your baby is a ‘bad’ baby. A baby that doesn’t sleep. Its almost like some people think that new parents *should* be awake all night…!

Confession time – as a sleep deprived mummy to a ‘bad’ baby, I secretly love it when other parents tell me that they have a ‘bad’ baby too as it makes me feel better about it! I am also ashamed to admit that I may have also had a secret snigger to myself when non sleep deprived parents with no bags under their eyes, who have bragged often of having ‘good’ babies suddenly hit the 4 month sleep regression. Ha welcome to my world I think! The benefit of having a ‘bad’ baby was that we had no sleep to ‘regress’ from at 4 months.

My ‘bad’ baby is a delight to be around. She rarely has tantrums, is engaging, smiley and interested in people and the world around her. She is happy most of the time, crawling, pulling herself up and fun to be around. I may be biased but I think she gives all those ‘good’ babies a run for their money!

And now at 9 months, Baby B sleeps through *most* nights and even when she doesn’t, the sleep I do now get feels amazing anyway because my clever, beautiful ‘bad’ baby trained me to cope on less.

X Becca

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22 thoughts on “Is your Baby a good Baby?!

    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I hate the question too and actually it made me really upset in the early days as a new mum because it made me think I was doing something wrong. It also gave me completely unrealistic expectations of how a newborn should sleep!!

      X Becca

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  1. We get asked this a lot as well, there is no such thing as a good baby or bad baby! They are babies and have no concept of good or bad. I agree that most people seem to equate being good with how well sleep is going. I think Baby E is the perfect baby…he does exactly what babies should do!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I hate this question too. Of course newborns wake in the night out of naughtiness! Not because they are brand new to the world, don’t know what is going on, are hungry or just need their mummies. It’s bizarre to even ask.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought it was a bizarre question too but I’ve lost count of the number of people who’ve asked me – its usually the favourite question from random people in the supermarket!

      Thanks for reading & commenting – hope you have a better week with fewer hospital trips! I tried to comment on your latest post but it wouldn’t let me for some reason….

      X Becca

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  3. I hate the good baby question! At 10 months mine is starting to get there (I hope!) and I’m still trying to justify why he doesn’t always sleep through … I was breastfeeding, he’s teething, had a cold etc … when really he’s just a baby who doesn’t realise he “should” sleep for 12 hours straight.
    If I come across smug mothers now I just make a point of saying I get a few hours to myself while he makes up for sleep with long naps in the day … They hate that!
    Great post.
    Alana x
    http://www.babyholiday.wordpress.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad its not just me who feels the need to justify why a baby doesn’t sleep solidly through the night! Ridiculous really that we should expect them to!

      Thanks for reading & commenting X

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  4. ‘But my baby’s happy – does that not count for something?!’
    Haha, this is spot on – I think my baby’s great until I talk to other people about how he sleeps, I think we’re doing ok until that comes up… so he’s almost 11 months & hasn’t slept through the night, so he prefers mummy snuggles to his cot & likes some milkies in the night!
    I’ve also found when you have such a ‘terrible’ baby it’s hard to say anything without offending anyone when they start with the advice!

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    1. Precisely!!! I’ve stopped talking to people about how Baby B sleeps as it was stressing me out and making me feel more sleep deprived . I’d rather she was happy and didn’t sleep than the other way round! Oh and I find helpful ‘advice’ very hard to take because yes believe me I have tried all the methods that I am comfortable with to improve her sleep already!

      Thanks for reading & commenting! X

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    2. I’m glad its not just me who feels the need to justify why a baby doesn’t sleep solidly through the night! Ridiculous really that we should expect them to!

      Thanks for reading & commenting X

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  5. Great post and oh so true! Why are people so obsessed with knowing? My eldest is now 4 and I used to get asked that all the time (he too is a spirited child!) – in fact, I saw a great quote from @mammalingo today that said “The next time someone asks if he’s a good baby, surprise them and say no. Tell them he is really kind of an a**hole.” Made me laugh out loud! Lovely blog by the way x

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  6. Great post and oh so true! My (also spirited!) eldest son is now 4 and I used to get asked that all the time – you feel you have to justify yourself. I came across a great quote from @mammalingo today which said “Next time someone asks if he’s a good baby, surprise them and say no. Tell them he’s really kind of an a**hole.” Made me laugh out loud! Great blog by the way x

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  7. I am getting this question a lot now that my son is 4 weeks old, it does annoy me too, yes he sleeps really well actually at night but in the day he wants to be fed or cuddled otherwise he’ll scream blue murder- is he a good or bad baby? who cares he is my son and I love him. #maternitymondays

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    1. Wow what is wrong with people?! 4 weeks old of course all he wants is to be cuddled! Newborn cuddles are so precious too so who doesn’t want them anyway?!

      Thanks for stopping by & commenting x

      Like

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