Am I expecting too much?!

So yesterday Baby B had her first “stay & play” session at her nursery. I’m not due back at work until July but I want to ease us both into it very gently so she will be doing one full day a week in May, 2 full days a week in June and 3 full days a week from July.

The nursery we selected has an amazing Ofsted report (outstanding in all areas). It has wonderful outdoor play areas, a sensory room and lots of fun activities and messy play! Mr B and I both loved it when we visited to book a place during my pregnancy. In fact, I have visited twice when pregnant and twice since Baby B was born and I was really pleased that we had managed to get her a space there.

Baby B is an outgoing and inquisitive baby and loves being around new people (especially other children and babies) and I know that she will love being around other children more as she is starting to become frustrated when alone in the house with just me. I’ve therefore not really been worried about her starting nursery because I know that she will love it, the nursery looked great when we visited it and I’m also looking forward to going back to work because I love my job.

During the stay and play session yesterday, Baby B spent time with her “key person”, a lovely girl called Nikki. Baby B seemed to take to her straight away and they had a lovely time playing together with some of the other babies. Baby B was smiling, laughing and chatting and really seemed pleased to be there which was so reassuring for me. All of the staff seemed lovely and commented on how Baby B was settling in great and would love it there! I am sure that they are right!

However, I’m not sure if I’m expecting too much because there were a couple of things that I witnessed that I wasn’t particularly happy about. The first was a baby napping in a cot who woke up and stood whinging. Now obviously if Baby B did this at home I would be straight to her immediately. However this baby was left in the cot whinging for about 5 minutes before anyone went to him. The child wasn’t crying properly, he just wanted out of the cot! It breaks my heart to think that Baby B could have been that baby whinging in the cot yet realistically with a ratio of 1 staff member to 3 babies, there are going to be occasions where Baby B will have to wait for attention. Therefore am I expecting too much if I expect the staff to be able to respond to her as quickly as I can when I only have Baby B to look after?

I saw another thing that I did not like when I was watching the ‘bigger’ children playing outside.  A little girl fell off her bike and got stuck. It took her allocated staff member about 30 seconds to notice what had happened and rush off to comfort her….again am I expecting too much to have thought they should have noticed and reacted more quickly? The staff to child ratios at this older age mean that it is probably unrealistic of me to expect them to notice everything!

So at the moment I’m wondering if this is just me being a normal ‘worried mummy’ who is panicking at the thought of leaving her baby with “strangers” for the first time.

I know that nursery can never replace me because it is just not possible to have 1-1 care in a nursery setting. And it can never be as devoted a caregiver to Baby B as I am. However because she is such a “people person”,  I do know that it will provide her with other things that she badly needs. For example, the interaction with others that she craves and which she doesn’t get enough of at home with me. It’ll also give her lots of different fun play opportunities and messy play and hopefully prepare her for school. Therefore, perhaps I need to just “get over it” and allow my Baby to grow as a little person without mummy always there.

This mummy malarkey can be tough!!

We have another session next week which Mr B can come to, so I am looking forward to getting his second opinion on this!

In the meantime – what do you guys think? Am I expecting too much and/being unrealistic in what I should expect?! How have you and your little ones found the transition from home to nursery? Would love to hear from you!

X Becca


8 thoughts on “Am I expecting too much?!

  1. I have worked in childcare for many years in various settings. I’ve worked in excellent nurseries and not so great ones.

    The best bit about your visit was that you were actually looking and watching between the lines. If you doubt at all, you’ll feel uncomfortable. Baby cannot tell you either.

    I have also had 3 kids and left first 2 with childminders/nurseries whilst working. I would choose a childminder every time. The one we had became like a member of our family and that suited us. It took a while for me to find the right one but once I did, I never looked back.

    There are playgroups/toddler groups they go to as well in case you wanted the interaction of other kids. This is just my opinion but it’s based around my trial and error and working behind the door of these settings. Hope it helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment! I’m going to see how we get on next week and then decide. I’m just not sure if my worries are about leaving her in general or about leaving her in a nursery setting. This nursery was the one I visited that I liked the best when pregnant and most of the kids seemed really happy and content there. Mr B is also of the opinion that nursery will be best for her so he really needs to come so that he can be sure. Ooh its so hard leaving them with someone else!!!

      X Becca


  2. I haven’t yet got to the stage of leaving Baby Z in a nursery yet but we had visited a couple and I think our protective mummy instincts definetely go into overdrive. We try to find all the bad things becase we know that only we are the best carers for our babies. However, it is also definetely important to see through that and believe that your baby will blossom in that environment.
    Also, Ofsted reports are tough so if they have outstanding in all areas, they really must be!
    Go with your gut instinct and Best of Luck!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I really do think it was just me being an overprotective neurotic worrier as the large majority of kids seemed thriving and lots of the “bigger” ones came to say Hi to me which was great that they feel safe and secure to do that. I just think maybe I’m expecting them to be “me” when quite clearly they cannot be…..

      Thanks so much for reading & commenting lovely

      X Becca

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Oh wow I know exactly how you feel! I could have written this post. You’re always going to be worried about them. They’re your little life. We were booked into a nursery & it had amazing reports & when we went there it just didn’t feel right. We felt that there weren’t enough staff to the ratio of children even though I know there must be. We looked around & it felt so strange, we just couldn’t imagine Evie there. I decided to not put Evie in nursery (this was three months ago) because I just didn’t want her to go there. A few weeks ago, I realised that it was so impractical for her to not be in nursery. Plus I wanted her to socialise more with other babies & learn about a world without me.

    We then found another nursery & as soon as I walked in we knew it was the one. Evie seemed so happy, the person who runs it is so genuine & warm. She’s a mum herself & her toddler attends the nursery. Evie’s gone for her first day alone today & although I am terrified, I am confident that she will be fine with them.

    You just have to remember, no one is going to ever have that amazing connection for your child as you do. You will forever be there protector. There will be somedays when she will have a tumble & they may not get to her on time, or she may have to whine in the cot for a second. But it will teach her skills that mummies, like me & you, sometimes can’t bring ourselves to teach them. I can’t leave Evie to cry ever! But I know that she needs to learn patience & that she will always be picked up eventually. My other half gets so annoyed sometimes when I get her straight away. I get cross too if I’ve left her with family & they haven’t noticed her going near something dangerous or if she falls. They’re so little & vulnerable & no one has a connection to them like we do. But they have to learn about the world & it’s dangers & learn to pick themselves up & brush themselves off. The younger they learn this, the more reassured we’ll be when they have to start the big scary thing that is school! 🙂

    I hope that Baby B enjoys nursery & it gets easier for both of us! 🙂

    Chloe (lifeunexpected)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Your comment has made me cry! You are so right about nor being able to let them cry and Mr B also gets annoyed with me for going to her too quickly when she cries. I love how you say that it will teach them skills we can’t like patience. I did love her key worker (and so did she). I might have a look around some other local nurseries again kisy to see if I feel the same about all of them or whether it is just this one.

      I am sure Evie is having a wonderful day today! Hope its not too hard for you!

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read and write such a lovely heartfelt comment. You have made me feel so mug better.

      X Becca


  4. If you didn’t feel like that you wouldn’t be normal bet Mr B will be far more laid back about Mr G was…another question to ask yourself is..what is your gut feeling? Do you like the staff there? I know this sounds awful but no one will love or look after your babe the way you do. I had to accept that..they will do a bloody good job but never as good as you Xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you hun! That’s so helpful…my gut feeling is generally good and I really like the staff I met. I think you are right, I just need to accept that nursery is a different kind of care to what she could get at home with me. Thank you for taking the time to read & comment. I really appreciate it! X Becca


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